Friday, June 6, 2014

Buyer's Fee

I sold my past today for two $100 bills. 
In case of regret, I can buy it back for $26 more. 
The brick fell on my chest and the tears started to roll.
This is really what it means, to move on, to have control. 

I convulse with sadness as I drive home. 
The same home we shared not long ago.
In the truck ahead sits a young girl about twelve,
perplexed is she by the tears streaming down my face. 
She grabs her sister's arm and points.
I couldn't be any more of a disgrace. 

Who have I become and what have I lost?
Where is the gain in all of this torment?
The city breathes of us, the possibilities. 
The city spreads lies between its teeth. 

What it is to be a human again,
to befriend who I was a year ago;
I don't recognize who that is any longer.
90 days' worth of take-backs and maybe's,
90 nights of gentle reminders that suffering is a choice. 

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